What Being a Med Student's Wife is REALLY Like

When Jordan got accepted to medical school, I spent a lot of time googling "being a med student's wife" and other such queries. When I finally would find someone with a blog, their life looked so ordinary! They were playing with their kids, cooking, cleaning...doing all sorts of normal things. I wanted to know what it was like, and couldn't find anyone writing anything to give me that insight.

Now that we've been in this lifestyle for (almost) a year, I have to concur with all those other bloggers out there...it is normal and ordinary. But here are some things that I'm guessing a lot of non-med-student wives don't have to "deal" with:

Note: While some of these things probably won't seem positive, I'm extremely happy and content with our life...I think God made me this way because He knew what type of life I would be have. My personality and skills are a great match for being Jordan's wife during this season of life. 

Being alone. A lot. 
Jordan studies, all the time. Even when he's home, I have to pretend he's not home b/c a 30-second interruption from me wastes minutes of his time trying to get back into the groove of studying. Jordan loves to study late, so I usually go to bed alone, too. He always comes in for a 5-10 minute convo before bed and if he has time, we'll eat dinner together, too. But otherwise, I'm free to do whatever I want, which is okay for someone who enjoys alone time (that would be me) or the freedom to meet up with friends, run errands, cook, clean, read, workout etc without seeing what plans hubby has for us (also me).

Being the breadwinner. And the homemaker.
You are THE provider. It's a strange role for a woman (at least to me; I know other couples operate fine throughout their whole lives with the wife as the breadwinner). I'm pretty old-fashioned, so I never "expected" to be in this position, but you know what? It's okay. I squint at that teensy tiny light at the end of the (very long) tunnel, where someday I'll be a stay-at-home mom (don't get any ideas people).

In the meantime though, I'm also the homemaker! Studying takes A LOT of time, as I mentioned before, so the only household chore that is TRULY hubby's is the garbage. When it's ready to go, I gather it up and set it in front of the door for him to take out. I grew up with this same mentality though (my parents have the same "traditional" mindset), so it seems normal to me that the house (apartment) is my responsibility. That's not to say that Jordan doesn't help out when he does have time - if I ask (when he's on a break from school), he's been known to vacuum, fold laundry, make the bed, sweep the floors, and even clean the toilet on occasion.

Having the yearly loans be more than the yearly salary. 
I know, a lot of you have home loans that are far more than your yearly salary. I do think that's different than having school loans...I joke a lot that I'm building a house in my husband's head, but it's not exactly a house we can live in. And I'm not sure what the interest rates are on home loans nowadays, but our student loans are at 6.8%, which means the loans from this 1st year alone have already accrued more than $1500 in interest (and we took them out less than a year ago!).

We don't really feel too daunted about this though...not b/c he's "going to be a doctor someday" as people are always saying if we talk about loans. But b/c we've already had to tackle a big chunk of loans. I had $20,000 from undergrad that I paid off in a year on a $30,000 salary. Jordan had $100,000 from undergrad that we started paying in April 2010. We only have $12,000 left to pay - and I'm still working on it, with plans to have it gone in a year. (Not that we're at all looking forward to paying back $200,000+interest of loans from med school...we just know that we'll manage.)

Being a constant cheerleader.
Medical school is stressful. And daunting. And hard. Really hard. As the other half that's not being assaulted by crazy amounts of knowledge every day, about the only thing I can do is encourage him. You can do it! You're almost there! You're 25% done! You're 50% done with 1st year! You're almost 100% done with 1st year! I believe in you! You're smart! I'm so proud of you! Sometimes I feel like a broken record, saying all this stuff again and again to him...but I believe it. I'm so ridiculously proud of my hubby.

Being outgoing.
This goes along with being alone. I may be an introvert, but I DO enjoy time with friends. ...and when you've moved to a new place, you have to go ahead and make friends. Now, for extroverts, this wouldn't even make the list - they love getting to know people and hearing their stories and so on and so forth, and while I do, too, it's exhausting to me. A good exhausting, but still exhausting. So much social effort has to go into making new friends. And, as mentally exhausting as it may be, I'm super thankful I made the effort and have friends here in KC.

Being frugal. 
Being frugal is one of my hobbies, but I don't think it comes as naturally for other folks. Despite everyone saying that "someday he'll be a doctor and you'll have lots of money", we need to be conscious of where we are at right now. We don't want to plan for something that isn't a done deal (who knows how much docs will make in the future?) and we need to be good stewards of what we have right now. If we're taking out more in loans than what we make in a year, it hardly seems right to "waste" a bunch of money. (Everybody's definition of "waste" is different when it comes to money...Jordan will tell you I fall in the extremely-conservative-almost-crazy category.)

So there you have it. A few things that are "different" about being a med student's wife. But, really, it does just seem normal and ordinary, like I'd discovered in my own research before starting out on this journey.

Thoughts? Questions? Anything you want me to elaborate on or are curious about?